Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
