somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
