I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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