Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
