Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize