I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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