is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
