And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
