i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
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This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied