woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
