You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
