Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.