u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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