@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
