Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

(415): View more from California

God, I love San Francisco.

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(415): Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling (415): God, I love San Francisco. http://tfl.nu/z7fc

Replies (27) Good night (3126) Bad night (572)
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(585): View more from New York

This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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(585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0

Replies (93) Good night (1133) Bad night (3331)
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(406): View more from Montana

We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.

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(406): We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream. http://tfl.nu/dq78

Replies (8) Good night (3892) Bad night (531)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?

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(973): Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet? http://tfl.nu/xg0z

Replies (11) Good night (5015) Bad night (1054)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

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(978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8

Replies (76) Good night (16522) Bad night (2090)
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(805): View more from California

found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.

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(805): found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up. http://tfl.nu/2xcc

Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (883)
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(607): View more from New York

I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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(607): I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no. http://tfl.nu/p7ft

Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (859)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.

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(908): My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this. http://tfl.nu/dlh8

Replies (10) Good night (2415) Bad night (784)
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(813): View more from Florida

EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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(813): EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order? http://tfl.nu/uphg

Replies (29) Good night (3831) Bad night (686)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

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(602): Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it http://tfl.nu/5hme

Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (461)
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(646): View more from New York

In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

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(646): In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night. http://tfl.nu/mfpz

Replies (4) Good night (2509) Bad night (990)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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(609): LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER? http://tfl.nu/1zq3

Replies (7) Good night (1110) Bad night (613)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

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(856): she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte http://tfl.nu/jlfx

Replies (3) Good night (858) Bad night (313)
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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(720): We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini. (970): Oooh, he sounds pretty classy (720): Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died. http://tfl.nu/8k1p

Replies (7) Good night (997) Bad night (539)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot

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(973): I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot http://tfl.nu/bffj

Replies (6) Good night (1077) Bad night (234)

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