Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize