If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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