Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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