I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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