I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize