I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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