A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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