I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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