Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
