I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
