We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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