a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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