I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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