New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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