could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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