im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
