i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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