hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
