So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
