Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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