I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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