all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
