He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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