This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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