Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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