I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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