My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize