so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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