what day is it and did you see me today?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
