And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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