If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
