once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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