after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
