do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the day after is always just damage control
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
