dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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