Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
