what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
