Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
