I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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