cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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