Having a random hookup so left but love u
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
