i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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