idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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