It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
