He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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