She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
