We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
