I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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