32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
