You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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